#MeToo reminded me of a famous criminal psychologist promoted by the media here who recommended women to be more careful about where and with whom they walk, especially on unlit pathways, sweetly praising them with a “Balkan lass,” thus nullifying all the recommendations made earlier and dramatically reducing the trust of the female population in psychological specialists.
On someone else’s page, I read a critical comment like “Until the dog raises its tail, no other dog will sniff it.”
On the Facebook page of the accused Calin Ionescu, I read a post like:
“When I was young and gangsta, girls came to Helios to flirt with colored guys, excuse my political incorrectness.
Now they come to Control to debate cubism with Irish guys.
What I’m trying to say is that the Y generation isn’t getting any and are out on the prowl to get some.“
This, at a time when the man had just ended his collaboration with a major advertising agency here.
The other day I was discussing with Cristina (my friend and colleague from the office) about parents’ fears of letting their girls come home unaccompanied from school, and I remembered how my childhood was drizzled with lewd comments thrown by bus drivers as I passed by on my way to school. They weren’t addressed to me… I had 2 pigtails and a backpack that almost knocked me over, under which I learned to hide just by listening to what was shouted at other older girls.
Then I read on a man’s page how sad and upset he was about the widespread generalizations about the strong sex. And he wondered why… and showed tiredness from so much #MeToo.
A campaign like #MeToo aims to draw people’s attention to the existence of such phenomena and that no, it is not the victim’s fault – come on, good people, where is your compassion?
How do you think people who speak up and then are publicly blamed feel?
What do you think they learn? “Next time it’s better if I stay silent because nothing good happens and the shame of it is overwhelming.”
What do you think young people learn from malicious comments and insinuations like “she deserves it, who asked her to walk around at night”? That a good watchman saves from evil, they learn to live a life full of precautions and insecurity. That the world is an unsafe place.
Do you think harassment is about sex… no, it’s about power. No one and nothing justifies us questioning these vulnerable individuals as to why they didn’t scream, why they didn’t speak, why they didn’t go to the police. Who died and made us supreme judges?
Let’s learn to show compassion… or even better, let’s learn to care. Why? Because we are not the victim, drained of all power and overwhelmed by shame, and for a while, we can be her “voice.” Because that way we can create a safe environment. Because that way we convey to that person “I hear you, I see you, I’m here for you and I understand your suffering.” Beyond the police, laws, and civil society, that person needs to know that we won’t judge them.